It has been crazy few days. One day I am feeling normal and other days I feel so much nausea and headache all day. First of all, It has been so hard to decide what to eat and when the food comes in front of me then I just don’t feel like eating it. It is making my mom very worried and I am trying my best to eat as much as I can so that I do not lose weight. I am so scared about the feeding tube to be put in if I do not eat that I force myself to eat sometimes.
I have to go to the hospital many times and on last Monday I was there for 10 hours. It is so tiring sometimes. This makes me behind in my school work. It is so hard to concentrate on my school work sometimes but I am trying my best. I didn’t do well in one of my math test because my head was hurting so bad so I asked my teacher that I want to take the test again but they cannot give that to me. I feel really sad about it. I hope I do better in other tests.
One day I made my mom little sad. In the school, when we were talking about the hoops for heart, I was thinking that since my blood count is low then can I get some heart problem? I came home and asked my mom that if cancer can cause me to have heart problem and can I die if it cannot be treated. My mom got really sad told me to never think or talk like that. I spoke to her later and told her that I am fine and I did not mean to ask the question that way. I promised her that I will not talk about it like this.
All the nurses and the doctors are nice. My doctor is also a hockey player and he still plays. He even scored a goal in the last game and he told me that he dedicated the goal to me. That’s was so cool to hear that from the doctor. It makes me feel how much I miss playing hockey. Sometimes I do not feel like watching the games on TV because it reminds me what I am missing. It is so boring now in the evening and on weekends because I cannot go to hockey practices or go anywhere. I just wish this all could go away fast.