Day 269 – 279

After so many good and exciting events last week, these next few days were not that exciting for me. There is only one thing that everyone is always worried about and that of course is my eating. I know everyone is stressed about it and I am too..some days I eat a little bit better but other days it is just hard to do it even though I want to.  I mostly stayed home during the 10 days except couple of days where after a very long time, I got to stay in the hotel with my mom and dad. It was the nice change for me and a different atmosphere from the same routine at home. I had to go to the hospital from there two times for my Vincristine and Methotrexate on May 20th and Pegasperagase on May 21st but at least I was able to stay for 2 nights and go out to eat at On the Border for the tacos because that’s what I wanted to eat each day.  One thing I noticed that walking so much in the hotel back and forth in the hallway made me so tired that I walking like a snail. I really need to work on getting stronger.

Day 262 – 268 – One day Disney trip

20190507_163251So the highlight of this week was the one day trip to Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida on Tuesday, May 7th. Again thanks to my hockey coach Marley, who has been by my side since the beginning and the Sunshine Foundation.

The Dreamlift operation is organized by the sunshine foundation along with the local police officers and the firefighters. They took 100 children with their parent on a chartered plane to Disney world for a day. It was amazing and surprising to see that at 6AM there were so many police officers, firefighters, young people dressed in Disney characters to support and cheer up kids like me and made us all feel so special. It always makes me wonder how people make time to support strangers. Thank God my counts were good and I could experience something like this. For one day, I forgot everything about my illness and I enjoyed a lot with my dad on different rides that I could do and just walking around a place other than hospital. I did miss my little brother who was very happy for me. I gave the interview to the ABC news anchor to express my gratitude towards the foundation. By the time I came back in the night, I was exhausted and went straight to bed.

Thank you coach Marley for enrolling me in this so that I could experience such an amazing adventure!

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On Thursday, May 9th, I had to go back again to the hospital for the second dose of Vincristine and methotrexate. I lost another 2 pounds but at least my counts were better. My ANC was 3120 and my Hb was 11.1. My dad and I spoke with the nutritionist and the doctor about my loss of appetite and the weight loss. The nutritionist talked to me and told me that I really have to try to eat because if I do not eat then the last option is the nasal tube. I am scared; I am worried but just cannot eat even though I take zofrin for nausea. I promised the doctor and my parents that I am going to try harder. I did do little bit better on the weekend and my parents were happy. On Saturday, May 11th, I really enjoyed the good weather and after very long time went to a store with my parents to shop around. On Mother’s day, May 12th, I thanked my Mom for all she has done for me and continues to do for me because without her I could not have been so strong in dealing with this disease. My mom said that the best gift would be if I could start eating well and get better. I told her that I will get better soon and will take care of her then!

Day 255 – 261 – Start 5th phase of chemo

Monday, April 29th was the start of my 5th and the final phase of the chemotherapy. My counts were so good that I was amazed. My ANC was 3020, Hb 10.1. I had to go for the spinal tap first and then I got the 2 medications Vincristine and Methotrexate. It was not too bad but I just could not eat because of the nausea. I actually lost around 5 pounds in last couple of weeks and you know my mom is too worried.  I did not like the part that I had to come again next day for Pegasperagase. It just takes the whole day with this medicine and I do not feel good at all after it. Well we had to do what we had to do. The best part was that after the next day, I did not have to go back for next 10 days for the treatment.

So I met this new resident doctor at the hospital who told me his story that when he was about my age he also had cancer and now he is doing residency under the same doctor who treated him. That was very inspiring! I told him that I want to be an oncologist too so that I can tell the patients from my personal experience how it is going to feel and how to deal with it.

Rest of my week went by not so great because of nausea, vomiting and not being able to eat. My parents and grandparents were so worried and were trying to find different food options. It is very hard to explain what I feel when I try to eat the food. I did get hungry and had the desire but when the food came in front of me, I just could not eat it. My mom said that my chubby cheeks were all gone and I started to look skinnier. But the good thing was my hair started to grow and I can’t wait to have the full head of hair!!!

Day 248 – 254 – New look!

20190427_112820New look – head shaved! 

On Monday, April 22nd, back to hospital to get my counts checked. They were still low as expected. My ANC was only 190 and my Hb 8.7 so they told me to come back next Monday. It was not a happy day…. first I lost 2-3 lbs in last one week, then I had to stay without the food and water after midnight for spinal tap just in case my counts were good and now they are not so I have to go back to do the same thing next Monday. Also my doctor asked me to walk on my heels which I am not able to do. Even standing on the heels is hard. I tried to do it with holding on to the table but could not do it. The heels started to pain. Doctor told me an exercise to do and at home my mom was constantly reminding me the proper way to walk and the stretching exs to do every day. Sometimes it is annoying to not being able to things that were so easy before.

I was having such a hard time with food because i no longer take the appetite stimulant after the reaction I had. It worries me but not that much but I know my mom is very worried about it. My grandparents have been so caring and always trying to help me eat. In terms of dealing with the food with me, I think my dad has more patience than what I thought he had. He would get different foods for me from outside any time of the day in case I did not want to eat the home food but then I would eat very little or not eat it at all because of nausea or lost my appetite. It is sad to see food go to waste but I cannot help it.

Even though I was not having such a great week but still two exciting things happened. On April 24th, I had a visit from my favorite hockey coach and his son who is also my classmate. We had good time talking about hockey and planning my return to the hockey. It was very exciting!! Second fun thing was on April 25th, I finally got my head shaved. Looking at my clean bald head, my mom and i realized that I have a good round shaped head and I do not look bad at all with bald head. Now I just have to see how long will it take for my hair to grow back! I enjoyed some good weather on the weekend with the hope that my counts would go up so I can start my 5th phase soon.

Day 241 – 247

After I came home from hospital, from April 15th onward, I was behaving normal but I did not feel too good because of lot of nausea, throwing up and less desire to eat.  I knew this was happening because of Vincristine. This was not a good week for me at all. I went to the hospital for my blood work on Thursday, April 18th, to get an idea about my counts to see when the 5th phase can be started. Even the counts were very low. My ANC was only 160 and my Hb was 8.6. No wonder I was feeling so tired and cold all the time. They told me to come back on Monday just in case a miracle happens and my ANC count will go up more than 700. I had to be very careful again because of risk of infections. Also the last few weeks affected two of my grades which did make me little upset but I knew that I will be able to do better when I feel better.

The best thing about this week was the visit to my cousin’s house. Just to tell you how crazy it can get at times….. as we were leaving from home to drive to my cousin’s house on April 21st, I just had the craving for Pizza and I just wanted to eat that only. When we found one pizza shop closed then we realized that it was Eater Sunday. I was getting cranky by the minute because I just wanted to eat Pizza and it was driving my mom crazy because my dad drove around to find any pizza place open. No Luck and that made me so upset. I finally agreed to eat at Dunkin Donuts. We finally reached at my cousin’s house an hour late. My mood got so much better because I had lot of fun running after my little cousin and playing outside in the sunny weather some cricket with my brother and cousin. That ended the week well!

Day 234 – 240

IMG_20190413_134717145What a scary week this was both for me and my family! You wound not even believe what I went through.  So Monday April 8th, started off with my hospital visit and the chemo medicines which I am used to now so I can deal with it fine.

On Tuesday, April 9th, in the late afternoon, I was attending my class and then suddenly I could not feel my right arm, then I could not move it and it was hanging by my side. I started to cry and screamed for my daddy because it was so scary. He came running upstairs to see what was going on. Then after couple of minutes, my sensations started to come back and I could slowly move my arm but the grip was weak.  My grandparents got worried too. I felt a little numb on right side of my mouth and tongue too but then it resolved on its own. My dad called the hospital who asked us to come to the emergency room. As we were getting ready to go to the hospital, my dad called my mom on the phone at work about what happened. I could hear her getting worried and mentioning something like transient stroke like symptom. By the time I went to the hospital, I was all good.  My arms and legs were functioning fully, no problem with my mouth. The doctor came and did the neurological exam to see if everything was okay. The doctor also mentioned the same thing that these were transient symptoms which occurred due to the methotrexate toxicity. I was all good and was discharged from the hospital.

I was doing fine at home until Friday, April 12th, when I started to have another of my weird days. I was in my room attending my class and then suddenly I had this urge to move…move fast or else something is going to happen. I came running down the steps and could not control myself as I was running around aimlessly and jumping around. My dad had to hold me to calm me down. I told him that I was hungry and by the time I ate, I was calm. This happened again in the night but that time, I had already eaten food and the episode only lasted for few minutes. My mom called the hospital and spoke with the doctor who said to monitor me until the next day to see if this is happening repeatedly then I will have to go to the hospital again. Next morning Saturday April 13th, I was playing fine and suddenly it happened again. I cannot describe what was happening to me at that moment. I had lot of involuntary movements in my arms and legs; I could not walk in straight line. My mom tried to do the finger to nose eye hand coordination test which I could not do. My dad said that I was behaving like a little child and could not catch or throw the ball normally. My parents took me to the ER for check up where the doctor said that it may be due to the toxicity of the appetite stimulant Periactin. I had one episode at the hospital too which doctor was able to see. I was finally admitted in the hospital for observation and IV fluids were started.

Next morning April 14th, I was still in the hospital in the morning without any new episode and feeling much normal.  Doctor came by to say that since I did not have any more of those episodes, I was okay to go home. I was so happy to hear that because it is sooo boring in the hospital. I also got the final dose of my chemo medicine Vincristine and that was the end of the 4th phase. Before I left the hospital, I got to share my journey with this boy who was recently diagnosed. He was a year older than me and I told him that it is going to be fine once you get used to it.

I finally came home on Sunday evening and could not be happier!

Day 227 – 233

IMG_20190409_172223320This week started with going to the hospital on Monday April 1st, morning and  getting my chemo in the hospital first and then for next 4 days at home with the home nurse. My counts were low but still not bad. My hemoglobin was 10.1 still but my ANC went down to 640. I was feeling a little nauseous in the hospital after the chemo so they gave me Zofran. It only helped a little so I got Ativan too to help me get rid of the feeling. When I reached home, I felt tired and not so good. My body felt exhausted and warm.

I was sleeping a lot and could not attend my classes very well. I actually started to run a low grade fever for couple of days with the headache all the time. It was driving me crazy. Everyone at home was just trying to help me because I was very sad and in pain. My mom tied her scarf around my head and that felt good for some time but the headache came back. I was not eating well also which makes my parents so worried. My mom called the doctor who said that other than taking my temp every hour or couple of hours to see if it goes any higher than 100.5, there is not much they can do. I did not want to go to the ER so we just monitored the temp at home because I did not have the cough or stomach ache or throwing up. When my nurse came to the house for my medicine, she told me to drink a lot of water. I tried but nothing tasted good. Finally I went back to the hospital on Friday April 5th to see what is going on. After they checked my counts, the doctor said that the low grade fever is the side effect of my chemo medicine. I was allowed to take Motrin every 6 hours for headache since my platelet count was good.

I slowly started to feel better with taking Motrin within next 2 days. I think Sunday was my best day because I woke up fresh, ate better and was able to play with my brother. I did lose 2 lbs this week and did not do too well with my school. Even though I was attending the school through VGo, but I was not able to fully pay attention to what was going on because of headache. But I knew that I would be able to catch up with the help of my wonderful teachers!